Confessions of a Former Wannabe Fixer

Are you a chronic fixer? Do you self-diagnose your problem and prescribe a solution without consulting the Great Physician?

I once was a chronic wannabe fixer. Thankfully, by the grace of God, I’ve come a long way but I must keep alert, or I can easily slide into a role that I am not meant to take on. If a family member or a loved one is facing a crisis, be it physical, spiritual or emotional, my first instinct is to try to resolve that situation. I must admit my success rate as a fixer was dismal. The more I tried to fix a person’s problems, the worse their problems became. While my intentions were noble, I didn’t possess the skill or wisdom needed to bring lasting healing.

Years ago, the Lord charged me with the crime of Impersonating the Great Physician. He stood beside me as my advocate and I handed in my ‘Doctor is In’ shingle. There have been times that I have tempted to hang that shingle back up. However, I gave the Lord permission to use whatever means necessary to stop me before I do myself or anyone else further harm. Hopefully, my days of being a broken fixer are behind me.

Wouldn’t it be foolhardy for a cancer patient to demand his surgeon to step aside so the patient could perform the surgery himself? Wouldn’t it be just as foolish for a mother of a critically ill child to spend a fortune to consult with a world-renown specialist and allow that child to go through invasive testing, only to discard the expert’s advice?

Although Jesus commended many for their faith, not once did he ask them to heal themselves or their loved ones by their strength. Yes, at times, Jesus gave detailed instructions, and as those instructions were followed healing and restoration resulted. However, I cannot find a single instance where Jesus encouraged someone to heal themselves. Nor do I find a single instance where a family member went to Jesus for help then said, “That’s all right, I can take it from here.”

The common denominators in those who were at the receiving end of a miracle at Jesus’ hand were humility and trust. Those who sought the miraculous on behalf of their loved ones displayed the same characteristics. They set aside their fears and didn’t try to step in to control the situation. They allowed the Great Physician to do His job without their interference.

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Practical Application

Do you recognise yourself in the above?

Are you currently a chronic wannabe fixer? What is your track record in seeing lasting results? Are those you are trying to help resentful or appreciative of your attempts to help?

Are you a former chronic fixer? What are the tell-tell signs that you are in danger of sliding into old habit patterns?

Take a few moments with the Lord this week and ask Him to highlight those areas in your life that you are trying to fix on your own. Surrender those areas to Him while surrendering anyone who you are trying to fix in your own power. Allow His peace to wash over you as you release those heavy burdens.

Once you’ve spent some time in His healing presence, study the Miracles of Jesus. Focus on the heart postures of those who were involved with the miracles that took place. Then focus on the heart posture of Jesus toward them.

Further Resources:

Is someone else’s problem your problem? If you’ve lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else’s, you may be codependent. Melody Beattie’s classic is a must-read if so.
Codependent No More Melody Beattie, Author.

ReNew: Breaking Free from Negative Thinking, Anxiety, and Depression – Julie Winter –  Author

The Practice of Honor: Putting Into Daily Life the Culture of Honor – Danny Silk – Author

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. – Brene Brown – Author

 

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All Bible verses, unless otherwise attributed, are from the English Standard Version (ESV).

Until Next Week

©2017 Katherine Walden

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